Modern wedding ceremony/Future Marriage Ceremony- 2014
Pujari: do u both agree to change your facebook status to married?
Couple: yes, we do
Pujari: vivah sammpan

Santa na ek college khola,
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Naam kya rakha ho ga?
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Naam Tha - Womens College for Boys.............................. latest jokes 2014

Santa: Look into my eyes, you see something?
Girlfriend: I see true love...
Santa : O Juliet ki Maa, Kuchh Aankh Mein Chala Gaya Hai, Jaldi Nikaal!

Santa got job in 'idea' customer care call centre.
Customer: my idea sim is blocked, what to do?
Santa : don't get tense, remove 'idea' sim
and use 'airtel' sim. Thank you for calling 'aircel'.

Husband & Wife dono market gaye
to Ek Ladki ne bare pyaar se HELLO kiya...
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Wife: kaun thi wo??
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Husband: Tum plz dimag kharab mat karo,
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abhi usko bhi batana hai ki tum kaun ho ??....................majedar chutkule

Being "In a Relationship" and being "In the "Hospital" is all the same...
Everyone asks -

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Serious hai kya ?

minister : bomb blast me marne walo ko 5 lakh aur zakhmiyo ko 3 lakh denge ,
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santa : mera baap pahle zakhmi hua fir mar gaya. hamara 8 lakh banta hai ...................... latest jokes 2014

Teachr- "main teri jaan nikal dungi" iski english kya hogi..??
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Santa- English ki aisi tesi, Tu saali haath laga k to dikha.. !!

santa : mere padosi ka bachha gum ho gaya !
banta : fir kya kiya ?
santa : maine kaha google per search kar lo mil jaye to download kar lena...

Position Of A Husband Is Just Like A Split AC..
No Matter How Loud He Is Outside..
But
He Is Designed To Remain Silent Indoor..............very funny husband wiife jokes

Teacher to Santa-
If a paratha & a pizza is thrown from a 50 feet
building, which will reach the ground first?
Santa: pizza, coz itz a fast food!!

Dear LAYS chips manufacurer,
You forgot to list one thing
under the ingredients..
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AIR..! .............................. latest jokes 2014

Jiis din se us bewafa ne mujhe chora hy
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Dost
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Yaqeen karo
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Mobile ki battery 3, 4 din aaram se chal jati hy..

Santa Banta dono bhai ek he class me padhte the
Teacher - tum dono appne papa ka naam alag- alag kyo likha?
Santa - Madam phir app kahoge hum ne nakal mari hai

Want to learn how to dance... in no time?
Go to wash room at 6:30 AM and take a cold shower.
You'll surely dance like Shakira!
Happy Winters!

When your GF blocks u on facebook…… Its called an e-breakup

Facts of Life:
5 Apples - Rs. 60/-
Apple 5 - Rs. 60,000/-
The position matters...

Teacher : agr koi moti ladki
palat k waapis aye toh
is sentence ko english me kiya kahenge ?
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Santa : gol mall returns.

How to sleep faster..??
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Just Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom...

Define girls!!
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The 1 who
b4 goin out for a party,
facial,
bleach,
waxing,
hair cuting/straighting,
threading,
toning,
scrubing,
moisturhng,
done
&
put on
lipstick,
lipgloss,
lipliner,
perfume,
body toner,
body lotion,
eye liner,
eye shadow,
eye maskara,
foundation,
face powder,
rings,
bracelet,
neckless,
nail paint,
party dress,
sandle,
purse and
says: yaar jalde ki bajah se kuch kar nahe payi
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define boy!!
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The one who b4 goin to party calls his frnd & ask :
“bhai, tu naha k aayega kya?”
Frnd reply: chal be tere bap ki baraat hai kya..
Boys alwayz rocks................girls vs boys best jokes

What will be the ad for petrol in year 2030 in India?
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Buy 10 liter petrol & get 1 tata nano free…!!!

Sabse Jyada Nasha Kisme Hota hai?
Shrab Me? No
Pyar Me? Na
Paise Me? Never
Sabse jyada nasha
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KITAB Me Hota Hai, sala Kholte Hi Nind Aa Jati Hai...........funny jokes for student

Zindgi ki Shuruat 'S' Se hoti hai.
S- for Suraj,
S- Subah,
S- Sham,
S- Swagat,
S- Samay
Uske bad
S- Sagai
Phir Shadi Phir Sas,
Sasur,
Sali,
Sala
Phir Satyanas!............very funny husband wife jokes

Break-up ki 1 month baad
meri naughty girlfriend pass aa kar boli..
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Tumhe pyaar karne ki saza do mujhe.
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Fir kyaa??
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Maine v jaa k uski papa ko saab bata diya.
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Kasam se bohot piti bechari.......

An old Indian woman slips n falls.

She says,

'Hai meri kismat.!'
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A foreigner girl walks past n says, 'Hi....
Merry christmas to u too.

Define a woman....?
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Someone who can talk 4 hours
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While standing at the door ...
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But
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She won't sit ...
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Because shes getting late.

The student who tops in the exams
is "student of the year"

and

the one who fails
is "student of the next year"

Dear gorgeous girls,
please don't wear t-shirts with long quotes.
It gives our wrong image
whenever we try reading it..!!

Sincerely,
innocent
honest boy

Sign outside a photo studio:
we can shoot your wife!
And
also frame your mother-in-law

What's the main reason for divorce ?
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"Marriage"

Only two things change a woman's mood
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1) I love you!
2) 50% discount

Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life.
-Shakespear
"Laughing At ur Wife's Mistakes,Can Shorten ur Life."
-Shakespear's Wife

If flipkart and Snapdeal starts matrimonial services....
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they will become the no. 1 website of matrimonial
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Know why??
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Coz
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they have the 30 day return policy.

I always read my wife's horoscope to see what kind of day I'm going to have!

I am an 8 letter word.
I am kept secret from everyone.
My 2nd, 3rd and 4th letters spell an animals
My 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th letter make a weapon.
My 1st, 2nd and 8th letters are used for writing an exam.
My 3rd and 4th letters are the same.
Guess what am I?
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Password

Facebook should change the status question from "What's on your mind?" to "What's your problem today?"




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