Museum Administrator: That's a 300 year old statue u've
broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
CID: Y criminals leave their fingerprints after crime?
Santa: Sir, they are uneducated. If they are educated, they would leave their
signature
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!
Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him..............funny jokes in
english
Film Director Santa: U have to jump to a swimming pool-from
200 ft.
Actor: But I don't know swimming sir.
Santa: Dear don't fear coz there is no water.
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks:
Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything?
Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!!
A good wife always forgives her husband when, She's wrong........marital woes
Santa: You will never succeed,in making that dog obey
you.
Jeeto: Nonsense it's only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with
u at first.
Teacher: Can you tell me 2 creatures which do not have
teeth?
Santa: I’ll tell ma’am
Teacher: Tell me
Santa: Grandma and grandpa
Beauty is not judged by your clothes or your appearance.
It is judged by your inner beauty.
So...
Always Wear...
Designer Undergarments.
To reduce depression of students Sir showed them 3 Idiots..
Sir- Wat did u learn from d movie?
Students- Kiss karte waqt naak beech me nahi aati..
Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: coz my wife take too long to get ready and after that no other place
is open............most funny jokes in english
Dress code 4 a party - RED TIES ONLY.
Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are
wearing SUITS also!
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile expense decide
2 use pigeons.
1 day a pigeon reaches Banta without message.
Angry Banta calls Santa! Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.
An ATM's jammed & failed when operated by Santa.
Why?
B'coz he put a pin in ATM when asked: Enter ur Pin No. ****
Santa galti se samundar main gir jata hai,
Doobte doobte uske haath me machhli lagi,
Use pakad k bahar phenka aur bola "tu to apni jaan bacha le.."
Santa: Kal Raat Nu Film Vich Ik Chudail Kade
Mere Agge Kade Mere Piche Ghummi Ja Rai Si,
Banta: Kehri Film Si…?
Santa: Mere Viah Di Movie.
Santa Bus Me Ja Raha Tha,
Samne Baithi Ek Aurat Apni Beti Ko, Bar Bar Bol Rahi Thi, "Jaldi Se Ye
Halwa Khalo, Warna Mai wo Uncle Ko Dedungi"
Kuch der baad Santa Ghusse Se Bola:Behenji Aap Jaldi Faisla Karo,
Halwe Ke Chakkar Me 4 Stop Agge Aa Gaya Hoon.
Banta driving on the highway read a sign that said, "Clean
Toilets 5 Kms."
after reaching there he had cleaned 4 toilets and said highway staff does
not complete their own duty.
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway
track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college.
You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Bus ka accident hua. Ek aadmi ro raha tha- Mera haath
kat gaya! Bahut dard ho raha hai..
Santa- Abe chhup! Wo dekh us aadmi ka to gala cut gaya fir bhi wo chhupchhap
leta hai..
Sardar thinking hard.
Sardarni- Kya Soch rahe ho?
Sardar- Ye TV walo ko kaise pata chalta hai?
Sardarni- Kya?
Sardar- "Aap dekh rahe hain STAR PLUS"
Santa bag lekar bus me ghusa..
Aur zor se chillaya-
.
.
"KHABARDAR!!
KOI APNI JAGAH SE NAHI HILEGA!!
HAPPY SINGH
KULFIWALA KHUD SABKE PAAS AAYEGA!!!
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
WORLD'S SMALLEST RESIGNATION LETTER-
.
.
.
Dear Sir,
.
MAIN CHALA!!
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
Santa Singh Had A Baby
Sardar:Bilkul Meri Jaisi Ankhe Hain "chhoti chhoti"
Meri Jaisi Nak Hai “chhoti Si”
Mere jaise honth "chhote chhote"
Jeeto ne Baby Ka Pamper Khol Ke Boli, "sab kuchh aapke jaisa chhota nahi
hai"
Banta:Tumhare Papa Kitne Saal Ke Hain?
Santa:Jitne Saal Ke Hum Hai.
Banta:Wo Kaise?
Santa:Oye, Jis Din mai Paida Hua, Usi Din To Wo Papa Bane!
Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
